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by diplomatsson



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Fake Marriage, Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon, Unresolved Romantic Tension, it's lame and gay, me writing kingsman fic in 2017, merlin is tired, sort of, this is a buncha self-indulgent bullshit but i'm putting it on ao3 anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 05:49:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10379859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diplomatsson/pseuds/diplomatsson
Summary: Harry has already "died" once before. At the possibility of it happening another time, and maybe for real, Eggsy and Harry come to a conclusion about themselves, and each other.





	

**Author's Note:**

> drawn-out mush that occurred when i set my wallpaper to a hartwin fanart and it got my feelings going all over again, i remembered a small paragraph i wrote to my sister with this sort of concept, so, i fucking wrote a 4.5k fic about it that's just me rambling, enjoy, peace out
> 
> i'm extremely bad at like, making up spy things so i didn't really try i hope it doesn't affect the whole thing too much. it's very vague but i feel it's better than way rather than me being embarrassing like, trying to come up with legit spy things. i wrote this spur of the moment,, research didn't happen, i just like my gay spies
> 
> this is set post-kingsman 1 and pre-kingsman 2, i have no idea how harry came back, no-one does, so i just didn't explain it LMAO please try and go with it
> 
> thanks to everyone who reads yall are the bees knees, appreciate you reading my writing, feel free to comment, ask questions etc xoxoxo
> 
> catch me in my trashcan @ jamescooksjr.tumblr.com or @curlyjoker on twitter where all i do is restrain myself from tweeting endlessly about star wars, hugs n kiss

It had been about two months since Eggsy and Harry had made the big move to southwest France. They had been stationed there to carry out an investigation, and possibly a mission, spending most of their time monitoring a wealthy French family who had been reported to have been acting suspiciously. They had spent the past two months moving in the same social circles as the family, attending lavish parties, swimming in vast swimming pools and staying at luxury resorts and golf clubs. And it was all part of the job. Another part of the job was the two of them living with each other, in a massive modern mansion that was unlike anywhere Eggsy had ever lived in his entire life. The rooms were large and open and relatively empty, and it almost felt like too much space to fill, like the house could have been half as big and would have served them just as well. However, if they were to blend in with the upper-classes, it was how they had to live for the time being. It's not like it was horrible living in a beautiful house, it was just so completely unlike what Eggsy was used to that it took him a while to feel comfortable living there.

He admitted to himself after a few weeks that it was nice living with Harry; he would perform all kinds of gentlemanly tasks from cooking to cleaning to gardening, to the point that Eggsy felt a little bit useless just hanging around the house. And they got along well, like they always had, only as time went on they seemed to grow closer still. That was an aspect of their living together that made things a little difficult - his feelings for Harry grew and grew and he wasn't sure in which way they were growing, it confused him. When Harry would straighten his collar for him, fix his tie, sometimes he wanted to tiptoe up, reach forward and kiss him, and maybe he was kidding himself, but it felt like maybe Harry wanted to do the same. Furthering the difficulty was the fact that they had been told to pose as a married couple the entire time they were undercover. That's right - it was what they had come up with when they had been asked to create a relationship where one being around the other all the time wouldn't be suspicious at all. So for the past couple months they had carried on as Mr. and Mr. Hart - Harry and Gary. It was all a bit cheesy, really, but Eggsy couldn't deny the way his heart fluttered when Harry had slipped a thin gold ring onto his finger before they took off on the plane, back in England. And then had promptly been asked to take it off in favour of another ring, that looked almost the same but, being Kingsman, it doubled as a tracker, and a pulse checker. Harry would know where Eggsy was at any time, and vice versa, and they could read each others heart rates in case of emergency, or danger. An elevated heart rate was a small but useful indicator that something might have been slightly off. Having to wear another ring wasn't the thing that played on Eggsy's mind, though; it was the fact that Harry had gone out of his way to already find a ring for Eggsy to wear, that he was getting so deeply in to character so early on. It gave Eggsy a lot to think about, his thoughts sometimes going so deep that Harry would tap him on the shoulder and ask why his heart was beating so fast, so hard. Luckily, being trained as an agent, he always had a good excuse.

* * *

 

"You'll be split up this time," Merlin, their unlucky third wheel for the trip thus far, had told them that morning. He lived in the house with them, too, albeit on the entire opposite side, spending most of his time working away and not seeing the two of them as often as he probably should. Eggsy figured he was having a little trouble adjusting too; working away from home must have been challenging for him, so he sympathised with him there a small bit. They were in same boat to a degree, but Harry, being a spy, and having been one for so long, appeared to have no trouble adjusting at all, and lived each day like he had been living this way for his entire life. Though it was to be expected, it was still admirable. "I thought the day would never come," Eggsy said, a wisecrack always at the tip of his tongue. In return, Harry gave him a look out of the corner of his eye, to which Eggsy responded with a little smirk. Across from him, Harry opened up the day's newspaper, his gaze flicking to Merlin only briefly. "How come we're being separated?" he asked, "I thought you were quite enjoying ordering us around when we were at society parties." This was true - in the beginning, Eggsy and Harry would wear ear pieces so small that they were undetectable, and it was into these that Merlin would give them various directions that would help them look like a more convincing couple (“Lean in towards each other”, “Smile! You’re drinking, you’re happy, you’re not at a funeral”, “I think you’re both a bit possessive tonight - put your arm around the other”). He was having quite a lot of fun with it, a fact that was obvious to Harry, to Eggsy and to Merlin most of all. Even so, as time went on, Harry and Eggsy became much better at performing these duties themselves, and now they were almost if not totally believable, the actions coming to them unnervingly naturally. They would sometimes even do things that they wouldn’t have normally done under Merlin’s instructions - Harry would lean in to whisper in Eggsy’s ear amongst the company of others, his breath warm against Eggsy’s skin. Eggsy would kiss the corner of Harry’s mouth in greeting after he had circled the party and returned to his “husband’s” side, and he would feel Harry’s lips twitch up into a slight smile. It had almost become a game, like the two of them were so achingly aware of the tension building between them that they would each up the ante to see who would crack first. It looked like the time was drawing to a close, by the way they spoke, they touched, they moved around the other, the air was always thick with longing. Eggsy figured that Harry had a strong resolve, but he also figured that he was whittling away at it as the months went on, and at any moment he would reach the center. Harry wouldn’t have to whittle, wouldn’t even have to try. At this point, Eggsy was laid bare.  
”I was,” Merlin admitted, exhaling a loud, drawn-out, dramatic sigh, “but such is the way of a mission - you never know which way it’s going to take you next. Eggsy, you’re with me tomorrow night.” Eggsy couldn’t manage to bite back the grin, “You the other woman, Merlin?” If Merlin did react, Eggsy didn’t notice. He simply looked to Harry, “You’ll be on the go tomorrow, Harry. I need you to infiltrate the home of some of your socialite buddies.” He threw two folders on the table - one for Eggsy, one for Harry, “Mission brief. I think we’re onto something - either these are the people we’re looking for or they’re very close to it; perhaps helping them out in some ways.” Harry gave Merlin a nod, almost instantaneously reaching for the folder and reading the various documents with a thorough eye. Eggsy left his untouched for the time being, instead keeping his attention fixed on Merlin.

“What’s my job, then?” Merlin raised his eyebrows, his expression mildly exasperated as usual, “We’re going to monitor Harry, you and I, be his second and third set of eyes, so to speak. Tonight you will go to the residence and plant a few cameras. These cameras will link right back to my laptop, and you, along with me, will spend your time navigating Harry around the household when he needs it,” Merlin explained, “we’ll watch through the CCTV. If he gets in a tight spot, you need to know how to get him out of there, understand? Tonight will give you a provisional look around the place, and you have to pay attention to every camera when you’re with me, be aware of every exit possible. We can’t have you there along with Harry, it’s too much of a risk, the security’s too high, it will just muddle things up.” With another sigh, he added, “If you would kindly take the time to read the mission brief, everything I just said is in there.” Eggsy’s brow furrowed, Merlin’s last comment sailing right past him, “What do we do if something happens to ‘im?” he gestured with his head towards Harry. His mind was very abruptly flooded with memories of before, when he watched hopelessly as Harry “died” for the first time, how he felt nauseous, like the world was spinning out of control around him. Even the thought of it made the room feel smaller, like the walls were slowly but surely closing in around him, his breath feeling heavy in his lungs. Merlin didn’t have time to answer before Harry did, his voice softer and more tender than Eggsy had heard it in a while. Reassuring, “Nothing is going to happen to me, Eggsy.” Maybe Eggsy’s words had come out with more vulnerability and worry than he had realised, unless Harry had just felt the need to comfort him with such urgency for no reason at all.

 

He knew the conversation would come at some point, inevitably, and when it did, it was that night, when Eggsy was about to leave for his “provisional look” at the house, and to plant the cameras around the place. Harry would stay behind at their home, with Merlin, just as Eggsy had to do the following night. ”Have you got everything you need?” Harry asked him, as he came to stand parallel to him. Eggsy’s hands brushed down his suit then gently pressed against the numerous pockets of his clothing, feeling for the outline of the various gadgets and necessities on his person, confirming that he had everything he needed. When he was sure of it, and of himself, his gaze met Harry’s and he nodded, “I don’t think you still need to ask me that at this point.” ”Would you rather I didn’t?” Harry wondered, and Eggsy shook his head in response, suddenly quiet, pensive maybe. Harry didn’t need to ask, though, and decided he would be the one to start the conversation: “What happened before was a one in a million chance, Eggsy. I promise you don’t have to worry about me again.” ”Easier said than done,” said Eggsy, his voice barely above a whisper, “you know I’m gonna worry anyway.” It was something, in fact, that Harry didn’t know, but the statement pulled at his heart and, without fully noticing, he stepped in closer towards Eggsy, protectively, his hand instinctively fiddling with his suit, fixing his shirt collar, all the while knowing that Eggsy was completely capable of doing it himself. His hand only stopped moving when Eggsy took it in his own, holding it in place. A wordless, expressionless feeling passed between them when they felt the others hand. Harry had never heard Eggsy be so candid with him, and he found his words stuck in his throat, something that was uncommon for him. ”How can I comfort you?” he asked, genuinely unsure of the answer, but wanting it more than anything, “How do I dissuade your worry?” Eggsy offered nothing but a half-hearted shrug and a quiet, “You tell me.” He was on his own, then. He spent a few moments searching for the right words, searching Eggsy’s eyes as they stared into his, like his gaze alone was stripping Harry’s walls down, but Harry didn’t mind. Really, it felt like a long time coming. ”We have the rings,” he told Eggsy, his finger tracing the gold band on Eggsy’s ring finger, “and you have my word.” He pulled back from Eggsy then, and began to make his exit, “You have my promise. You don’t have to worry.” For Eggsy, it did come as some sort of comfort. He watched Harry leave, and once gone, he felt the ring on his finger, more weighty than it had ever felt, perhaps because Harry had drawn his attention to it. He held his hand out against the light, stretched his palm and just stared at the band for a long moment. At first he had wondered what Harry had meant by “We have the rings”, but when he read the tracker that was displayed on the jewelry, he both understood and was comforted even more simultaneously. It read, ‘Harry is at home’.

Outside the foyer where he had just left Eggsy, the hallway was empty around him, and Harry took a second to look at his own wedding band, the message it read more often than not being his source of consolation.  
_Eggsy is at home._

* * *

 

“I’ve just reached the premises”. Harry’s voice coming through to both Merlin and Eggsy came as a little bit of a shock after a period of extended silence. The night before had gone very successfully; Eggsy had managed to discreetly put every camera into place and take a quick look around the place at the same time. He had to be quick, though, because Merlin figured if he spent any more time hanging around that someone would catch onto him. Harry was to spend a longer amount of time there, and had to focus on being undetectable, something that Eggsy was sure he had finessed at this point. ”Excellent,” Merlin replied, “quiet as a mouse now, Harry. We’ll communicate with you, but not a peep out of you unless completely necessary, alright?” ”I know,” came the response through their ear pieces. Followed by “thank you” a moment later. ”Good luck,” said Eggsy, a burst of warmth and happiness going through him whenever he heard Harry’s voice in his ear. ”Thank you,” Harry repeated, and Eggsy thought he could hear his smile through his words, “though I’m not sure I’ll need it”. A short, smug laugh came through their ear pieces, “I’ll see you on the other side.”

After that, they heard nothing back from Harry. Not verbally, anyway; as instructed, and as he knew, he moved about the house in silence, expertly timing every move, his mind several steps ahead of his body. Eggsy and Merlin watched this all take place from Merlin’s laptop, the two of them holed up in the room Merlin had designated as his “work room”, a big area full of electronics, gadgets, weapons and the like. Anything at all they needed, they knew Merlin had. Harry had no specific task to carry out, mainly because they had no real idea what it was they had to be looking for yet; Harry’s mission was basically to investigate the area and see if he happened upon anything that would help further their research. It was the first lead that had, so they had to do everything they could to get something out of it. The next hour or so went by in nearly absolute silence from everyone involved, aside from Merlin giving Harry an instruction or two. He had to guess whether Harry needed the guidance or not, because Harry couldn’t talk to him, couldn’t respond or ask questions. He figured he should give him instructions rather than not because of their circumstances - if Harry wanted to give out to him about how he already knew to do everything Merlin told him, he would have to wait until he was back at the house.

Eggsy studied the screen with intense concentration; little squares were displayed on the screen, each one being what they were seeing through the cameras Eggsy had set up. There were nine in total, and Eggsy took time to work out an exit route for every single one, or as many as it was possible for. He found things like this easier the more time he spent in the environment of Kingsman agents, and didn’t have to spend a lot of time thinking of ways for Harry to escape, but he paid special attention to it, made sure that every exit was viable, because although Harry’s words the previous night soothed him somewhat, he still had his worries. His eyes were focused in on the final, ninth square, squinting in concentration, doing his best to find an exit quickly. He heard Merlin say something to Harry, but he didn’t fully take it in, and it wasn’t until Merlin put a hand on his shoulder to grab his attention that he snapped out of his concentration. ”Galahad,” Merlin was saying, “find him an exit, locate the nearest one, come on.”

Eggsy took a moment to observe the screen as a whole, and saw that a group of armed guards were headed Harry’s way, he heard the alarms blaring in the house Harry was in, and spotted Harry, doing his very best to be quiet and calm in his escape. Not knowing why, but the first thing he did after that was glance at the ring on his finger. It told him Harry’s heart rate was elevated, it told him how far away Harry was from him. It made him panic. ”What happened?” he asked Merlin, and he all of a sudden felt his heart thump in his chest, heard it in his ears. The ring on Harry’s finger was probably set to explode with how hard Eggsy’s heart was beating. “Harry--” he called out, knowing Harry couldn’t answer but not caring, “Harry, fucking be careful!” His voice cracked with emotion, and everything felt entirely too overwhelming. He was there again, behind a screen, while all he could do was watch Harry die. His eyes darted between Harry and the guards - there were so many of them, they had so many guns. In the beginning, he wouldn’t have worried at all about Harry, and would’ve thought he was entirely capable of looking after himself, and he probably still could, but after watching what Valentine had done to him, how he didn’t have time to think before the bullet hit him-- that one thought was overriding any other one, squashing all of his other independent thoughts, none of them standing a chance against the intense worry, panic, fear that he was feeling. Yes, Harry had come back once, but that didn’t mean he could come back a second time. Merlin reached a hand out towards him again, getting a hold of his shoulder, giving him an encouraging pat. ”Calm down, Eggsy, it’ll do him no good if you’re panicking,” said Merlin, his voice still level as usual, “it appears there’s an alarm set up in their dining room, it must have some kind of trigger when there’s trouble afoot.” On a separate laptop, Merlin appeared to be multitasking and trying to research what could have possibly made Harry’s presence known. He didn’t look at Eggsy, but spoke to him, “Find him an exit.”

Harry was amazed that he didn’t stop still right there, in the middle of the hallway wide open when he heard Eggsy’s voice break through the transmission. When he heard it, it was as if lightning has stricken his whole body, but not in the pleasant, lovesick, metaphorical kind of way. In the literal, painful way that he assumed went through someone when they were actually stuck by lightning. Though he knew he couldn’t, he came extremely close to talking, to telling Eggsy not to worry, to put his mind completely at ease. Eggsy’s voice was raw with panic, the volume at which he cried out painful and shrill in Harry’s ear piece, and Harry would have given anything at that present moment to be able to comfort him.  
In the middle of a huge mansion being chased by guards was perhaps not the best time to realise that he might have been falling in love.  
He heard their voices through the ear piece still, kept his calm composure despite his mind racing. It was what he had been trained for. ”Find him an exit,” he heard Merlin say, while at Eggsy’s end he heard haggard breathing that was slowly beginning to steady as the seconds went by. He stayed pressed against the wall of one of their many hallways, but was aware that he was running out of time quick.  
”--Keep moving,” Eggsy’s voice broke through once more, sounding fairly more composed but still brimming with emotion, “you’ve got quite a way to go for an exit, but keep fucking moving and you’ll make it, yeah? Move up the hallway, up about ten feet you should see a door to your left.” He was so proud of Eggsy in that moment, as he took quick steps up that hallway as he had been instructed, that he had taken such little time to recover, that he was getting the job done regardless of how he felt. Once he had turned to the left, Eggsy spoke again: “The door directly opposite you, go through that - there’ll be a few rooms like that so carry on straight ahead, you’ll keep going through rooms until you reach the room at the very end of the house, then there’s a door right.” A second passed, and then: “Tell me you’re okay. Nod if you’ve got a good feeling about this.”  
Harry nearly smiled at that, but at the same time it only made his need to get back to Eggsy even stronger. He took a moment - it was only a millisecond, but it felt much longer - to face the camera in the room he was currently in, give it a quick nod and carry on through the house. Eggsy sighed in what seemed to be relief, laughed a bit.  
“I can’t believe you did that.”  
”Neither can I,” interjected Merlin.

The remainder of the time was spent with Eggsy guiding Harry through the house until he had made it out the exit - the funny thing was, Harry had figured out a way out pretty early on, but he knew that giving him directions, step by step, helped Eggsy calm down. He was guiding Harry home, directly leading him to his safety, so Harry understood why it would be a comfort to him. When he had made it through the very tiny gap in the window that Eggsy had lead him to (and that he had known about himself, but that didn’t matter) and he had reached the outdoors, he allowed himself to breathe a little bit. He stopped a moment, checked his surroundings and then tried his best to examine his hand in the dim light, the ring gleaming around his finger. _Eggsy is at home_. He allowed himself to calm down, just a bit, not feeling the adrenaline quite as strongly any more, and then, for the first time in hours, spoke into his mic: ”Exited the premises. On the way back to you.”

* * *

 

Eggsy felt a huge deal of relief when Harry had let them know he was on the way home, the feeling one gets when holding breath underwater for too long and finally reaching the surface. It was nice to hear his voice again, too, seeing as he spent so much time unable to speak to either him or Merlin. Now that Harry was finally on the way back, Eggsy had (a little pathetically) taken a seat in the foyer of their temporary home, waiting for the door to open and for Harry to be safe indoors again. He felt a bit uncool, maybe a bit embarrassed while he waited, but not uncool enough to leave. He occupied the majority of the time staring at the ring on his finger, which he figured at this point was more a curse than a blessing because of his preoccupation with it. He stared at it now because it kept track of Harry’s distance from him, and it was pretty satisfying to quite literally know how close he was to being home.

When Harry came through the door, he found Eggsy waiting for him. He was taken aback by it somewhat, briefly, but found himself overcome with a particular feeling of warmth a moment later, as if his heart was burning coal in his chest, heating his whole body. Sure, the mission hadn’t gone according to plan, but Harry was finding it hard to care very much right then. ”Eggsy,” he said, and found it was all he could say because in that next second, Eggsy was standing up from where he sat and nearly bounding towards Harry until he reached him. Harry knew what would happen next, and he had never welcomed something so enthusiastically; he caught Eggsy by the waist just as Eggsy flung his arms around Harry’s neck, stood on his tiptoes and pressed an urgent, passionate kiss to his lips, the tension melting down into nothingness, finally, almost tangible in the air. Nothing had fit the description of ‘long overdue’ quite so well.

”You’re an idiot,” Eggsy told him when he broke away, his face remaining mere centimeters from Harry’s. Eggsy’s eyes fixed on Harry’s, which were gazing longingly at Eggsy’s lips, hoping to taste them a second time. It felt like they had been doing it for years; kissing, holding each other, being so close - it felt so natural, and they were fairly sure it wasn’t because of all the practice they had put into making a convincing couple. ”It wasn’t my fault,” Harry responded, playfulness in his tone. He kissed Eggsy a second time, soft, gentle and quick. Eggsy continued gazing up at him when he moved back, with a certain kind of smile on his face. His eyes said more, had a kind of vulnerability to them, that maybe said he was still a little bit shook up at the thought of losing Harry again. Just as Harry was thinking of it, Eggsy seemed to articulate it: ”I was fucking worried about you,” he said, almost jovial, but something underlying in his voice told Harry ‘please don’t do that again’.  
It made Harry instinctively hold him closer, wrapping both arms snugly around Eggsy’s middle, hoping that it would be of comfort to him. It felt better, when Eggsy was in his arms - the feeling that they were both safe again.  
  
”It’s alright, Eggsy,” Harry said with as much reassurance as possible, his voice a near-whisper in Eggsy’s ear, “I’m home.”

("I knew it," muttered Merlin under his breath when he caught a glimpse of the two as he moved between rooms. He smiled to himself, thinking of how the other agents would have to pony up after the bet they had made, and knowing he would be a few hundred pounds richer when he got back to England.)


End file.
